OP Full Blast: East Blue Bash
by TheRealEvanSG
Summary: My name is Damon D. Digger. I always wanted a normal life, but the day my mom was murdered, that all changed for me. I lived out on the streets of New York City for two years, and then a god claiming to be my father sent me to the world of One Piece! Now I have to save the multiverse from evil demons and ugly monsters. I've only got one question... WHY IS LUFFY A GIRL?
1. Chapter 1: Welcome to One Piece!

**TheRealEvanSG here with a quick message! So I was just sitting in school one day when this fanfic idea came to me. What if a guy from our world fell into the world of One Piece, and what if he was a demigod? Then I thought... nah, too cliche. So then I decided, what if that happened, but when he goes there, something's wrong: Luffy's a freakin' hawt GIRL?! I've always liked the idea of a girl Luffy, but I've never really had a good plot line for a story containing something like that. Well, now I do!**

Damon: Yeah, yeah, on to the story all ready, baka. You're boring the audience.

GIRL LOOK AT DAT BODEH!

Damon: ...You gay, bro?

No! Just listnin' to Sexy and I Know It.

Damon: ...

**Um, yeah, anyway, I do not own One Piece, nor do I own any characters in this story except for any original ones you see. And while we;re on the subject of characters, please give me ideas for bad guys! Try to make 'em crazy 'cause most of the bad guys in the original canon ****_are_**** crazy. Okay, chapter start! **

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

Aeso, Demon or God?

Welcome to One Piece!

* * *

You know how in horror movies, oftentimes there's a character running into a dark alleyway at night, chased by some maniacal killer dude, when really they should've just stayed in the main city, where it's crowded and safer? Well, obviously I should pay more attention to horror movies, because that's exactly what was happening to me late one night in August. I'd been running from him for about half an hour now, lugging my black, wheeled suitcase behind me, totally freaking out because I could feel evil in the air. Or maybe that was just my nerves. I didn't know and my brain wasn't working enough to care. All my brain cells where concentrated on one thought process: Get away from creepy thing behind me.

My legs ached. I looked back, wondering if I'd lost him.

Nope. The demonic figure was still there, bat-like wings spread frighteningly, poking through his black and red cape that fluttered in the slight summer breeze. His evil, glowing red eyes stared deep into the heart of my soul, and a deadly scythe hung sheathed on a belt at his side. He was tall, about seven foot by my estimate, which shouldn't even be possible. His shoulders were broad and his body was rippled with firm muscles, making him very intimidating. He wore a navy blue shirt with jeans that, on anyone else, would've looked very cool, but on him just looked weird. He was strolling casually through the alley, like he owned the entire city and had all night to do this, but the expression on his face was one of slight annoyance.

I squeaked bravely and tried to run faster. This guy was a demon, a monster straight out of Hell, and he wanted me dead.

My future looked _so very _bright.

As I ran, I thought of something and mentally slapped myself. I was a Christian, and a hardcore Christian at that. I never even say "Oh my God" unless it's part of a prayer. So if I pray to God now, he'll save me from this demon, right? I clasped my hands together and thought a quick prayer. I would've said it, but I was to out of breath from running. _Dear God, I've always tried to follow your laws to the T. I've never hurt anyone unless they were hurting someone I cared about, or were beating up innocent people on the streets. I've always tried to go to church on Sundays, and I when couldn't make it, I held a mass by myself. I never took anything from anyone except freely given. So please, save me from this demon guy, or whatever he is!_

Nothing happened. I wasn't sure what I was expecting; maybe a gust of wind that would blow the demon back to Hell, or possibly a bolt of lightning frying him to evil ashes, or maybe a flash of light teleporting me somewhere he couldn't find me. But I certainly wasn't expecting nothing. In fact, if anything, the demon just got closer. I had played my final card, and it had turned out to be a dud.

At the realization that I was all alone, I lost all strength to run and just collapsed in the alley. My legs burned with pain from running so far so fast. My hand was clutching at my suitcase like it was a lifeline. I was out of energy. My breath came in ragged, pained gasps. Adrenaline pumped through my body, not helping to calm me down at all.

I seriously hoped this was all some crazy dream I was having, but the pain in my muscles told me otherwise.

I was curled up in a ball, back turned from the monster and face inches away from the alleyway street. A demonic shadow crept over me, filling me with a deathly cold feeling. There was an ear-rattling scrape of metal on metal, and a long pole with a wickedly sharp-curved edge was added to the shadow. My blood turned to ice, and I slowly turned around, dreading what I would see.

Sure enough, the demon was standing over me, eye twitching a little, spinning his scythe hand-over-hand. Evil radiated off of him. He was a heat lamp from the Underworld. I decided right then and there that I hated heat lamps.

"**Ah, finally.**" the demon rasped. "**Why didn't you just stay in one place? I'm here to give you a new life, to grant your wish from earlier today. Plus, Vio said that you're the only one for the job and if you stay like this, the world will end, so granting your wish is like an added bonus.**"

I stared. Fear was restricting my brain from working properly, but his words were weird. "Erm, sorry, d-did you say you're g-going to g-give me a new l-life?" That sounded dangerous. Did he want me to become his demon apprentice or something? Seeing as I was a hardcore Christian, that didn't seem likely, but who knew?

"**Well, duh. I mean, what did you think I was here to do? Kill you or something?**" he laughed so hard that I couldn't help feeling a bit stupid.

I frowned. "W-well, actually... yeah." I admitted sheepishly. I didn't trust him at all, but if he wasn't here to kill me... a flicker of hope burned in the back of my mind. "Uh... wh-who's Vio? Whaddya mean I-I'm the only o-one for the j-job? What job?"

"**Ah, yes, straight to business.**" The demon nodded in approval. "**First of all, my name's Aeso, and I'm god of the ocean and creativity. You're my son, so you're a demigod who can control water, breathe underwater, and negate most Devil Fruit powers. Besides that, anything you dream from this point on has the potential to become reality. Oh, and Vio's the goddess of fortune and fate.**"

I stared. "You're a god."

"**That I am.**"

"But there's only one God, and that's _God_. So... you can't be a god." My disbelief was what was causing me not to stutter.

The demon smiled. "**Your faith will do you much good when you need it most, child, but I _am_ a god. I'm not holy or deserving of worship like _the_ God, no, but I'm a god all the same. Born out of His thoughts, my brothers and sisters and I are even closer genetically to Him then His angels and you humans.**"

"...Even other gods believe in God?" I deadpanned. "That's... crazy. How do you even expect me to believe you? You're a freakin' DEMON!"

Aeso - the demon - the god - ah, whatever the Hell you wanna call him, glared at me. "**I AM NOT A DEMON!**" he bellowed in exasperation. "**Why do people always think that when they first see me?!**"

"It might have s-something to do w-with the f-fact that you've g-got bat wings, a s-scythe, and g-glowing red eyes," I said as sarcastically as I could. Damn. My stutter was returning because of him flipping like that.

"**Curse my appearance,**" Aeso sighed, eye twitching a little. "**I was born with all the ugly features of my family. Not even the REAL demons look like this, and I only have enough power to hold a purely human form for a few hours!**"

Something else he said clicked. "And... hold it, did you say I'm your _son?!_"

"**Well, yes,**" he agreed. "**You are my son, Damon Daniel Digger.**"

A tic mark pulsed at the back of my head at this. I hated my name. Damon wasn't so bad, kinda cool actually, but all three words put together was very irking. Honestly, what where my parents _thinking, _naming me that? No, wait, not parents, _parent_. My mom, to be exact. My birth dad had no say in my name because just after I was born, he went out to the ocean and got lost at sea. At least, that's the story my mother told me. It sounded like something out of a shitty Percy Jackson book.

Wait.

Lost at _sea._

Aeso said he was the god of the _ocean_ and creativity.

The little part of my brain that was still sane put the pieces together. "Hell no," I gulped.

"**Hell _yes_. I am actually quite handsome. Er, in my human form that is. Anyway, Damon, yes, basically you are a demigod and you're also the direct grandson of _the_ God. As for what the quest it... you'll find that out once you get there.**"

"No way. I'm not trusting anything a demon says," I said, shoving the worm of doubt that had snaked into my thoughts, back to to the back of my mind.

Aeso sighed. "**Very well. I suppose I'll have to prove it to you by sending you to Luffyverse now... I suppose explanations will have to wait until later.**" He frowned thoughtfully. "**It's really too bad I don't have any Mindphones at the moment... Ah well. Here goes nothing... Please save the world, by way. It'd be very bad for everybody if you fail.**"

"Save the world? What-" I never got the chance to finish.

Instead, colors flooded my vision. I got this major headache, like the biggest headache in the history of headaches, and as the pain built in my head, I faintly heard Aeso say, "**I'll be seein' ya around, buddy. Don't get too hurt.**"

And then I passed out.

Lame.

* * *

When I came to, I still had the headache, and for a scary moment, I couldn't remember anything. I couldn't remember who I was, or where I was from. I couldn't remember whether I was a boy or a girl, and I couldn't remember how old I was. My memory was a total blank.

And then my headache cleared and my memories flooded back.

Yes, that's right. I was Damon Daniel Digger, from the streets of New York, New York, or the Big Apple, or whatever the heck you wanted to call it. My mom, a single, divorced woman by the name of June, had been murdered in our small apartment, and when I came home from class that day in my Sophomore year of highschool to find her corpse lying mangled on her bed, I'd freaked out, grabbed a few necessary survival items and forced them into my suitcase (namely, two week's worth of clothes, toiletries, my iPod, my laptop, the corresponding chargers for them, and the $100 I'd been saving), called the cops, and ran from home.

Why'd I run away when all it did was land me as the top suspect in my mother's murder until the real killer was caught by total accident?

Simple. After all the reading and anime-watching I'd done (yeah, I was kind of an otaku), I'd learned that orphanges were equivalent to hell for kids. And since I didn't have any other family except for mom, who was now dead (curse Dad for getting lost at sea!), an orphange was exactly where I was headed. I was not going to let that happen, not for the life of me.

And so started my life as a street delinquent.

Somehow I managed to hold my own on the streets. I learned to fight under the instruction of a middle-aged homeless guy called Cracked-Up Kane, which was due to the fact that he was never seen without - yep, you guessed it - crack. Despite the fact that he was constantly high, he was actually a very nice guy, and willing to do whatever it took to help a friend.

The day Cracked-Up Kane and I first met was a hot day in my first summer. Summer had started not too long after my mom's murder, and I was starving, scavenging food from garbage cans. I know. It was about as fun as it sounded, which wasn't fun at all. But somehow I was still alive, and by avoiding the police, I managed not to get sent to 1) jail for questioning on my mom's death or 2) the orphanage. Anyway, I was little more than skin-and-bones, sitting on the sidewalk with one hand on my suitcase, looking hopefully up at the passersby, wondering if someone would be kind enough to spare a few dollars, which would be more than enough to buy a meal at McDonald's.

Instead of nice citygoers, I got angry thugs.

These guys where a group of three school kids I'd beaten up the week before, back when I still had the strength _to_ beat people up. They'd been picking on an innocent girl, and I never liked guys who tried to... do what they were doing to her. So I handed their asses to them on a silver platter and walked away, leaving the girl to wonder who the hell I was and the guys to collect dust on the streets.

"Hey, you bastard!" The lead guy growled. He wore your typical gangster get-up: Baggy pants, black coat, white shirt, backwards cap, you know the drill. The two behind him were dressed similarly, plus shades and minus the cap. They looked like total idiots.

"This is payback for last week, punk!" Ugly Number One, the guy on the left, drawled.

"Yeah, man, we won't let you get away with what you did to us," Ugly Number Three, the guy on the right, slurred.

"Prepare for a major ass-beatin'!" Ugly Number Two, the ringleader, growled. A sadistic glint sparked in his eye and I glared up at him.

"Oh, so you make yourselves feel better by beating up the weak and those unable to fight back?" I hissed, oozing venom. _Man_ did I hate people like that. "Hell's got a special place for you three."

"Leave him alone, punks," a voice behind the lamppost I was sitting against said.

I turned in surprise. "Who are you?"

"C-C-C-Cracked-Up Kane!" one of the thugs gulped.

"I heard he's crazy."

"He's got a freakin' blackbelt in karate, ju-jitsu, _and _tae-kwon-do!"

"Let's get out of here!"

And with that, I never saw them again.

* * *

Anyway, immediately upon waking up and regaining my memories, I noticed that the room I was in was unlike anything I was used to. For one thing, the bed felt uber-comfy, though that might've been because I hadn't slept on a proper bed for about two years. Also, the entire place rocked. Which made me feel like throwing up.

When I opened my eyes after the initial sick-in-my-stomach feeling passed (which probably took a good hour) I noticed the last weird thing about my room. It had a single window which wasn't actually a window; it was a porthole. Like on an old-time ship. A _porthole_. And it overlooked the freakin' ocean!

"WHY AM I ON A SHIP?!" I bellowed in shock.

I could tell it was nighttime because the stars where showing outside, and a single oil lamp burned on a table behind me, so I must not have been out for too long. Thought that was weird, too. As a result of major air pollution, I had never seen stars before. Just looking at the stars felt like a dream come true. They were so pretty, and there were so many... it blew my mind. Seeing stars on a screen and seeing them in real life was nothing alike.

Great. Now I sound like a sappy girl.

I was brought out of my thoughts with the sound of the opening of a door.

I looked in that direction and blinked. The person who had just came into the room with me was a somewhat familiar, very cute redheaded girl with... with gigantic melons that served as her chest. Normally that would just look ugly on a girl, but this one's chest only made her look hotter. I blushed a little. Then I beat myself up internally for being a pervert.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"My name's Nami," she said with a smile. "Who are you?"

"Damon, Digger D. Damon," I said. I wasn't sure why I'd put my last name first, or changed my middle name to the initial D., but whatever I said made her blink.

"Oh, really? You've got the middle initial D. like my captain, huh?" Nami asked curiously. "Huh..."

"Yeah, I do," I nodded. "Who's your captain?"

Her answer made my jaw drop.

"Monkey D. Lucy."

_No way, no way, no way..._ I stared at her, eyes wide and my jaw so low it was touching the floor. _Monkey D. Luffy? But that's a fictional character! Hold on, didn't she just say her name was Nami? Come to think of it, she looks exactly like a real-life version of the Nami in One Piece, the navigator of the Straw Hats' ship... And I'm on a freakin' boat! WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE?_

I decided with an option that made sense.

"You're very good at cosplaying," I told her.

Nami tilted her head, clearly confused.. "Eh? Cosplaying? What's that?"

I frowned. "You... you don't know what cosplaying is?"

"No. It sounds like some sort of game, though..."

"Oh, _kuso_!' I cursed. For some reason, I automatically said the Japanese word for 'shit'. I had no idea why, but my brain just randomly forced it out of my mouth. "This is not good... tell me, where am I?"

The redhead blinked, then smiled. "You're on my crew's ship, the _Going Merry_. We just got it from our newest crew member, Usopp's, friend Kaya."

My brain raced. Okay, so somehow I was in the world of One Piece, on the Going Merry. Also, it was probably sometime between the Syrup Village Arc and the Baratie Arc in the timeline, based on what Nami had just said and the fact that she was here and not left.

"Yep this is definitely a dream," I decided. "Nami, slap me."

"Um... what?"

"Slap me. Across the face. This is a dream and I'm gonna wake up from it."

She raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Okaaaay..." She slapped me across the face.

_WHACK!_

"YOWCH! THAT HURT!" I screeched, tending to a reddening bruise on my cheek. "WHY DOES IT HURT?! YOU DON'T FEEL PAIN IN DREAMS!"

"Well, unless I'm having the same dream as you, you're not dreaming," Nami told me, sounding slightly amused.

It was then that Aeso's words came back to me: _Very well. I suppose I'll have to prove it to you by sending you to Luffyverse now._

By the Luffyverse, did he mean the world of One Piece?

"So, uh, can I meet Luffy? I need to talk to him about something," I said, thinking fast.

Nami frowned in confusion again. "Luffy? I don't know any Luffy. But my captain's Lucy..."

"...Say what now?"

"My captain's Lucy. You can see her."

Lucy? Her? ...The hell? I didn't know what she was going on about, but I decided to play along.

"Okay, take me to... Lucy," I nodded.

"OI! LUCY! THE GUY FROM THE SKY WANTS TO MEET WITH YOU!" She shouted. "AND HIS NAME'S DAMON!"

I heard much scurrying outside the room, and then the door to the infirmary was flung open to reveal another girl, as well as a quick glimpse of the deck of the ship and the ocean.

The new girl was short and had a bandadged-up chest. How did I know this? She was shamelessly wearing a low v-cut red vest, which was luckily buttoned up. Her blue shorts only barely passed her thighs, and I wondered if this girl cared about her appearance at all. Her eyes were a beautiful hazel, and a straw hat with a red band strapped around it perched on her onyx black, long hair. A thin scar cut across her eye, but somehow that only made her cuter.

I once again found myself blushing as I looked at the girl. "Stop being such a freakin' _pervert_, Damon!" I muttered to myself, tapping on my head.

That was when I realized something. This girl looked _exactly_ like the pictures online I'd seen of a female Monkey D. Luffy. Somehow... somehow I had fallen into the world of One Piece, but Luffy was a freakin' GIRL!

"Hey, mystery angel!" she cheered. "You're finally awake!"

"How... Whu..." I stuttered. Wow, such great linguistic skills, Damon.

"That's Lucy," Nami told me, side-eyeing the girl. "She's stuck on believing that you're an angel, since you fell from the sky and all."

"I... fell from the sky?"

"So are you an angel?" Lucy asked, literally jumping up and down in excitement. "Are you are you are you?"

"Sheesh, take a breath, and no, I'm not." I sweatdropped.

"Told you he wasn't," a man's voice muttered. And in stepped the most bad-ass guy I'd ever seen.

He was tall and muscular, and his body was heavily scarred. His oily head was topped with a tangle of green hair, and his face was fixed in a bored, sleepy expression. Three swords hung by his side. He wore a dirty, white shirt and dark green pants. A green bandana... no... haramaki was tied around his left wrist.

"No way," I said in awe. "Roronoa Zoro?"

He scowled. "Who the hell are you, and why did you fall from the sky?" He sounded exactly like the Japanese voice actor, if he had an English accent and spoke English.

"The name's Digger D. Damon," I said, and with a smile, I shook both Lucy's and Zoro's hands. Lucy's was feminine but slightly callused, whereas Zoro's was thick and sweaty. I gritted my teeth and winced. Zoro's grip was _really_ tight. "I didn't even know I fell from the sky. Say, did a suitcase fall with me?"

All three of them looked to my left. "Oh, you mean that thing?" Nami asked, pointing to a very familiar black suitcase leaning up against the infirmary bed.

I grinned wider. "That's the one! Thank goodness this baby's here with me..."

"Why?" Lucy wondered. "Is it important? Is it an angel?"

I sweatdropped again. "Er... no. It's not an angel."

"Is it worth money?!" Nami shouted eagerly, her eyes changing into belli signs like in the anime.

Zoro and I both sweatdropped at that.

"Ah... no." I told them. "Actually, it's pretty much been my home for the past two years."

"Your home? That thing?" The greenhaired swordsman said skeptically. "Doesn't look big enough to be a home for a cat."

"I've been living in the streets, OK?" I grumbled. "All my necessary survival items are in that suitcase, so as far as I'm concerned, yes, it's my home."

"You live on the streets?" said Lucy in awe. "Wow, you must be really strong!"

"...No, not really. I mean, I can hold my own in a fight, but..." I decided to change the subject. "Anyway, you guys are pirates, right?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Lucy asked excitedly.

"...I can see into the future," I told her after thinking for a second.

"EH!? YOU MEAN YOU'RE A FORTUNE TELLER! SUGOOOOOI!"

Nami and Zoro frowned at me, looking like they didn't buy in to all this.

"Okay, um, first of all, the last island you visited was Gecko Island, right?" I began. It was kinda rhetoric. "And there you defeated the notorious Captain Kuro, who was supposed to have been killed by the Marines three years ago. In reality, however, he went in hiding and began scheming to steal Kaya's fortune. You met Usopp-san there. Also, before that you guys defeated Buggy the Clown in Orange Town, and before _that_ Lucy-chan saved Zoro-san from being executed at the Marine Base on Shell's Island." I wasn't sure why I added the honorifics to the ends of their names. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that random Japanese words were mixed in with the English ones?

Zoro glared at me suspiciously. "How'd you know all that?!"

"I told you, I can see into the future. I... had a vision."

"Ne, you're awesome!" Lucy exclaimed, eyes sparkling anime-style.

I blushed a little. I've never received much praise, except from Cracked-Up Kane whenever I got stronger. "Oh, and you'reeither just sailing now, or you're heading to the Baratie."

"Nanda? What's the Baratie?" Lucy asked curiously.

"A famous sea restaurant."

Lucy's stomach growled. "RESTAURAUNT!? I can taste the food from here..."

I burst into laughter. Even Zoro managed to crack a smile. I guess that, girl or boy, Luffy is Luffy.

"Hey, you should join my crew, Damon!"

I blinked and looked at Lucy, who'd just spoken. "Really?"

"Hai! You could be our pyschic!"

And that was how I became a part of the great Straw Hat Pirates. Who knows what awkward situations will come out of this, with Luffy being a girl and all, but this is my life now, and somehow or another, I know it will work out. A quote I'd heard a long time ago said, _It always turns out good in the end. If it's not good, it's not the end_.

* * *

**And thus ends chapter 1.**

Damon: What a shitty ending.

Shut the hell up, bro. I'm the author here, got it?

Damon: ...Can I at least kick ass soon?

Just because you asked... NO.

Damon: EH!? What a shit-author...

Lucy: Pleashe rate und revoo!

Nami: Don't talk with your mouth full of meat, Luce...

* * *

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	2. Chapter 2: Mixed Feelings!

**Chapter 2 has arrived! Everybody dance now~!**

Damon: ...No.

D:

Damon: Yeah, yeah, go cry yourself to sleep. By the way, TheRealEvanSG does not own the One Piece plotline, characters, or environments. The only thing he does own is me and any of the originalities in this story, such as Aeso and the other gods and demons.

**Chapter start!**

* * *

Mixed Feelings!  


Enter Johnny!  


* * *

The day was calm and warm. The sun shone brightly upon the small caravel with the goat figurehead and the blank canvas sail. A sixteen-year-old girl with a straw hat sat happily on her 'special seat,' otherwise known as the figurehead. Behind her on the upper deck, a seventeen-year-old boy wearing a leather jacket, tennis shoes, jeans, and a deep green shirt sat on the railing, the little hair he had blowing in the slight breeze.

That was me, Damon Daniel Digger, or as I'm more commonly known in this new world I'm in, Digger D. Damon.

Just last night I had joined the crazy pirate crew known as the Strawhats after falling from the sky and landing on the lower deck, effectively freaking out Usopp, or so I'm told. Then again, it doesn't take much to scare that wimp. When I came to, I was introduced to Zoro, the green-haired first mate, Nami, the cute redheaded navigator, and Lucy, the captain. Naturally, when I realized Luffy wasn't captain, I freaked out internally, but I'm slowly adjusting to the fact that he's a girl in this world. Apparently whenever that bastard Aeso ripped me from my own world and threw me in this one, he put me in a different dimension than the anime and manga.

Just my luck, right?

Today marks my first day as a Straw Hat. I've been having mixed feelings about being one ever since I woke up in the boy's cabin this morning. For one thing, I joined as their psychic, and if all of what Aeso said is true, then I'm also a demigod, which they know nothing about. Joining their crew would make them help me on this quest he said I have to take, and that could put the whole crew in danger. I can't do that to them! I mean, I know they're super strong and they almost never lose any battles they face, but still! We're talking about _gods _and _demons_ here.

As I thought about all this, I found myself unconsciously humming the tune to the second ending of One Piece, _Run, Run, Run_. I immediately stopped.

"Ne, why'd you stop, Damon?" Lucy whined from the figurehead. "That was a cool tune!"

I blushed, embarrassed that somebody heard me. A street kid wasn't supposed to sing. Or hum. Or whistle. Or anything like that. Then again, here in the One Piece universe, anything was possible, including Luffy being a girl.

I was having a bit of a hard time coming to terms with that.

Let's face it. A girl Luffy is just _weird_. I mean, sure it sounds like a cool idea in fanfiction, but when you meet her in real life, there's a whole bunch of awkward situations involved. For instance, earlier this morning, Lucy accidentally fell into the ocean while fishing and I had to jump in to save her. Well, once we got back on deck and I had stomped all the water out of her stomach (it didn't hurt her because she was rubber, after all), she took off her wet shirt. If it wasn't for her bandages, which she'd gotten from her fight with Kuro, Lucy would've flashed me her chest, and I probably would've went down with a major nosebleed, or at least my face would've been red enough to attract every bull in a fifty-mile radius, but luckily she did have those bandages.

Thank goodness for crazy con men.

Anyway, Lucy kept complaining about me not humming, and a tic mark pulsed on the back of my head. "Just shut up already, I'm not gonna hum." I muttered.

"You're no fun," the captain pouted.

"Yeah, well, you're shameless," I grumbled.

"What's shameless? Is it a food?"

Cue sweatdrop. "…No."

"Meh." She went back to her seat on the figurehead.

"Say, Lucy, why's that spot so special?"

She turned to me and grinned. "It reminds me of the time I got my scar and promised Shanks I'd learn to swim!"

I nodded. "Makes sense, I guess."

"Wait, do you mean Red Haired Shanks?" Nami asked. She'd just come from the kitchen and had apparently overhead part of our conversation. "You mentioned him on Gecko Island. How do you know him, anyway?"

"He visited my hometown when I was six," Lucy told us happily. "He's super awesome!"

"Oh."

As the day dragged on, I met Usopp, who came out of the boy's cabin and began developing random pachinko stars for his slingshot. Why he used a slingshot was beyond me. I mean, a pistol's better for a sniper, but whatever. He claimed he was captain, but I shot down that lie quickly. I didn't really like Usopp until after the Enies Lobby Arc; sure, he was great for comic relief, but all that stuff about him being the captain was disrespectful to Luffy, even if he didn't mean for it to be.

I had mixed feelings about being on the crew. On the one hand, I'd be putting them in great danger, like I'd said before. On the other hand, I might not survive in this world without their help. The Grand Line was extremely dangerous, after all, with random weather patterns and dangerous pirate crews, and since I knew nothing about navigation, sailing it alone would amount to suicide.

I hadn't officially joined the crew yet. They were still waiting for my answer. Lucy seemed to think I'd just join, though, and I had to admit, it was a tempting offer. Ever since I first discovered the One Piece anime, I'd wished that I could be a crew member of the Straw Hats, and now, unbelievably, I had that chance. All the same, if I joined, I'd eventually have to break it to them that I'm not actually from this world. I wasn't sure how they'd take that. And what would their reactions be when they found out I was actually a demigod? If Aeso was to be trusted, after all.

My mind was a battlefield, and it was eating me up on the inside.

"Hey, Damon-san, what's up?" Nami asked me at breakfast. "You seem like you're troubled."

"Am I really so easy to read?" I sighed. "Yeah, I don't know whether to join or not." I whacked Lucy's hand, which had stretched over to take my food. Since we didn't actually have a cook yet, all we were eating was some PB&J's and apples. I didn't even know they _had_ peanut butter in this world.

"It's not polite to steal other people's food, Lucy-chan," I reprimanded. "I know the bandits that you lived with constantly stole each others' food, but we're different from them. We won't steal your food."

"Lucy lived with mountain bandits?" Usopp asked in some surprise. His nose was really long. I mean, the anime and manga didn't do it justice. You couldn't appreciate it's length until you saw it in real life. "I guess that explains why she steals our food all the time, then..."

Zoro gave a 'tch' sound that clearly stated he didn't trust me yet. I didn't care one bit.

"I hate most bandits, but the Dadan Family's nice," Lucy told us happily through a mouthful of sandwich.

"For mountain bandits, they _are_ a good natured bunch," I agreed.

"How did you know that, anyway, Damon-san?" Usopp said with an eyebrow raised.

"He's a psychic," Nami informed him.

"EH?! A psychic?! Sugoi..."

"Tha's whu ai said!" Lucy managed. She still hadn't swallowed.

"Kuso-psychic."

"What was that, _M__arimo?"_

At the mention of the jerk swordsman's nickname, Nami and Usopp let loose a chuckle. Zoro's head really did look moss-covered... I wasn't sure why Zoro ticked me off so much, but he just did. In the anime, he'd been one of my favorite characters because he was so badass and loyal, but in real life he got on my nerves. I seemed to get on his nerves, too. The feeling was mutual.

Zoro glared at me. "Eh? Wanna repeat that, _Twitch?"_

A fiery aura erupted around me. I haven't mentioned it before because it's kind of embarrassing, but I've got Tourette's Syndrome. Not the kind that makes you swear a lot when you're nervous, but the kind that makes your eye twitch. "YOU WANNA GO, BROKEN COMPASS?!"

Zoro's aura was icy. "BRING IT, SHITTY PSYCHIC!"

I clenched my fist. Usopp gulped and scooted to the back wall. Lucy was laughing her heart out, her straw hat sitting lopsided on her head. "HAWK PUNCH!" I bellowed.

"ONI GIRI!" Zoro growled, pulling out his swords.

The attacks met each other at the midpoint. I surprised myself; I didn't even get hurt. In fact, it seemed that the blows were equal in strength.

"Not too shabby, kuso-pyschic," he smirked.

"You're not too bad yourself, Marimo," I growled.

-POW! POW!-

"Don't you two start fighting!" Nami barked, looking rather shark-like.

Damn, that girl could be scary. Zoro and I sat back down in our seats, nursing bumps on our heads. Like most things I'd been discovering lately, although Nami's demoness-like anger was funny in the anime, it was much different when you experienced it first-hand.

"Scary..." Usopp whimpered from his corner.

I couldn't blame him for thinking that. Truthfully, Nami scared me a little, too.

After breakfast was over, we all did different things. Lucy started working on something on the lower deck, while I took up the job of lookout. Nami went back to her navigation and Usopp fooled around by playing pirate on the upper deck. Zoro slept.

An hour passed uneventfully. Then Lucy shouted, "I'm finished!"

"With what?" I called back.

"Look, our pirate mark! Now that you've joined, we'd got five people! I'd say it's time we got a flag."

"Oh."

I joined the rest of the crew in reviewing her job. And let me just say this: IT. FREAKIN'. SUCKED.

Now, I'm usually not one to criticize unless the person I'm critiquing happens to piss me off, like Zoro, but that looked like SHIT. It was such a poor paint job it wasn't even FUNNY. Zoro's, Nami's, and Usopp's faces were fixed in various degrees of horror, and mine wasn't too far behind.

"A pirate mark is supposed to be scary. It should strike fear into our enemies' hearts," Zoro frowned.

"If our enemies were terrified _infants_, than this would be perfect." Nami supplied.

"It gives a new definition to 'abstract,'" I offered, sweatdropping. I felt like I've been doing that a lot lately.

Usopp grinned. "You guys really should've told me about this. You may not know this about me, but I happen to be an artist."

Zoro raised an eyebrow.

"Does that mean you can draw?" Lucy wondered in awe.

"Heh! When it comes to painting, I'm in a league of my own! I've been drawing for fifty years."

"WHOA! Fifty _years_!?"

"That would mean he's an old man by now."

"Which would give him five or six grandchildren and I don't see 'em."

"Not to mention he'd be bald." I put in.

"SUGOOOI~!"

"Oi." Usopp drew his hand across his face, slightly put down by our teasing. But he got the job anyway.

Usopp's first painting was a jolly roger that looked suspiciously like him. It had a long nose, bandanna, and a slingshot. It earned him hits on the back of the head from Lucy, Zoro, and I. His next one was much better, featuring the exact same mark that was in the anime. I had to admit, the liar may have been an idiot, but he sure was a good artist.

"So, how do you like _this_ one?" Usopp said smugly.

"Wow, that's actually pretty good, Usopp!" praised Nami.

"Yeah, keep it! That's the one!" Lucy agreed.

"Good job, long nose," I nodded in approval.

"Oi."

"So we've finally settled on it? This is gonna be our mark?" Zoro asked.

"Sure is! Oi, Usopp, draw one on the sail, too!"

"Right."

Once that was done, the Going Merry was complete, even if its crew wasn't. The straw-hatted skull definitely added a sense of finality to the whole thing. I almost felt like a true Straw Hat, even though I wasn't really one yet. Lucy proclaimed her approval to the world, and everybody agreed.

* * *

_BOOM!_ The sound of a cannon firing woke me up from my short nap in the crow's nest. I almost called out to the crew that a pirate ship was here, but that would've been pointless for two reasons; 1) They were already firing their cannons, and 2) there wasn't a pirate ship. Except for ours. Or rather, theirs. I really should stop thinking of myself as a Straw Hat...

"Way off the mark..." came Lucy's slightly disappointed voice.

"Oi, what's going on down there?" I heard Zoro complain.

"Yeah, what are you doing now?" I groaned. "I was having such a good nap..."

"Cannon firing practice! But it's not going very well."

"Like I said, let the expert aim the thing," Usopp chided.

"Oh, is that all?" I sighed. "Whatever."

"Judging from the angle of the last one, I think this should do the trick. FIRE!" _BOOM! SMASH!_

"Awesome!" Idiot #1 cheered. "You got that on the first try!"

"Wow, I did... Ha! Whaddya think? I'm pretty magnificent when it comes to aiming, so are you impressed yet?"

"Yeah! I can't believe it! So it's all settled. You'll be our sniper."

"Wait! I don't get to be _captain?!"_

"No, I'm still the captain!"

* * *

At lunch, Usopp and Lucy were still arguing. I wasn't sure why that liar wanted to be captain so bad, since he was such a coward. Anyway, once they'd finally stopped fighting, Lucy said, "You know guys, I've been thinking. Now that we've got five people, there's one last position we need to fill before we head to the Grand Line!"

"I'm not a part of your crew yet, Luce." I reminded her.

"You're right." agreed Nami, completely ignoring me. "This kitchen's really nice. Just pay me and I'll do it."

"I suppose it is vital for long trips," Zoro conceded, sleeping against the fridge.

"No decent pirate ship should be without one... a musician!"

"Ugh! Are you an idiot?"

"Yes, Zoro," I told him. "She is."

"What do you think we're doing out here?" Our navigator groaned.

"And here I thought you were gonna say something _smart_." complained Usopp.

"The word _'smart'_ isn't in her vocabulary, Usopp-san." I said.

"We're pirates and pirates sing a lot, didn't you know?"

_SMASH! _The sound of a barrel breaking into pieces shocked everybody.

"Get out here ya damn pirates!" An upset voice called from the deck.

I blinked. "Who's that?"

Lucy went outside. "What the hell? Who are you?"

"Shut up! Who I am doesn't matter, you stinking pirates!"

_SMASH! _"Whoa!"

Nami and Usopp were at the porthole, looking out at the deck and trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Zoro asked them how many guys were out there, to which Nami replied, "Uh... one."

"Then just let her handle it."

Lucy and the dude on the deck shouted some more, and Zoro looked up at the ceiling. "That voice..." There was the sound of someone getting smashed into the wall. He stepped out the kitchen and said, "Johnny. Tell me that isn't you."

Nami looked at me in confusion and I just shrugged.

"Zoro-Aniki! What are you doin' here?" said who I assumed to be Johnny.

"It _is_ you! Where's Yosaku? Why isn't he with you?"

"What's going on?" Lucy asked, totally confused. "Do you guys know each other or something?"

I, however, suddenly remembered.

It looked like we were going to see the Baratie soon!

* * *

**Woop! Woop! Chapter 2 done and done!**

Damon: I don't like you. I don't get to kick ass yet!

Ah, quit your whining. You'll get to fight a new addition to Don Krieg's crew. And if you hate me now, just wait until you see what the original arc I came up with has in store for you! Muahahahahaha!

Damon: You need to work on your evil laugh...

Lucy: I'm still confused here, guys! Who the hell is Johnny?

You'll find out next chapter. Now shut up and wait for me to write it. Here's some meat.

Lucy: YAY! MEAT!

Strawhats + Damon: *sweatdrop*

Don't forget to R&R!

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	3. Chapter 3: Bounty Hunters and Sanji!

**A new chapter and the introduction of the ero-cook! Yes, Damon will get very ticked off by Sanji.**

Damon: That bastard! He better keep his hands off Lucy...

SOMEONE'S IN LOOOOOVE~

Damon: Sh-Shut up!

I see you're not denying it!

Damon: I SAID TO SHUT UP!

**Chapter 3 start! (Before Damon murders me in my sleep...)**

* * *

The Bounty Hunting Duo, Johnny and Yosaku!

Also Introducing the Fighting Cooks of the Baratie

* * *

"Hey, look! Zoro knows that guy!" Usopp muttered.

"What's going on here?" Nami wondered.

Down on the lower deck, Zoro and Johnny were laying a sickly man on a green beach towel while everyone but Nami was watching in concern. He was pale and looked like hell. This was Yosaku, and he was dangerously sick. Nami went out of the kitchen to examine the situation.

"He just got worse and worse and I didn't know what to do!" Johnny cried. Zoro placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Who knew that jerk could be so comforting? "So I thought, maybe we could just rest on a little island. But then a cannonball came flying into our ship!"

I winced. That would be Lucy and Usopp's 'cannon firing practice.'

Johnny broke down in tears and the idiot duo's jaws dropped in horror. They leapt to their feet and bowed in unison. "Gomenasai!"

"Sorry isn't good enough," Johnny told them. "Isn't that right… partner?!"

"!"

He looked up to Zoro, tears pouring out of his eyes. "Aniki, give it to me straight. Is he gonna die?"

The master swordsman gritted his teeth. Nami finally reached us, muttering, "Baka!"

"Watch it!" Zoro growled.

"He's not gonna die, he just has scurvy," I told the crew while Nami pulled Yosaku's tongue and checked his eyes.

"He's right," she confirmed. "Lucy, Usopp, we have some limes in the storage. What are you doing? Go get 'em now!"

They shot over to the storage room, stumbling into each other in the doorway but eventually bringing out a barrelful of the fruits that looked like green lemons. Under Nami and my instructions, they squeezed the juice of the limes into Yosaku's, open mouth.

"So what's scurvy?" Usopp asked.

"It used to be a hopeless disease that plagued sailors, but we just know how to deal with it now," Nami said. "Honestly, don't you guys know anything? At least Damon seems to have basic knowledge of the sea. Anyway, Johnny'll be just fine in a couple of days."

"Really, Aneki?" Johnny said enthusiastically, spitting in Nami's face by accident. "Sugoi, Aneki!"

"It's not like I'm a magician. And stop calling me that, it's stupid."

"_I'm_ the psychic, here," I told him. "Digger D. Damon at your service!"

"Really? Sugoi, Damon-aniki!"

"Ah, it's nothing."

Usopp and Lucy continued squeezing lime juice into Yosaku's mouth. Meanwhile, Nami explained about scurvy. "It's a disease caused by a deficiency of vitamin C. Back in the old days, they didn't store fruit because they didn't know how, but we do now."

Lucy ignored her. "If a little's good, a lot's gooder." She stuffed a bunch of limes in the sick man's mouth and turned to her navigator. "You're really smart! You're like a doctor!"

Usopp bragged about something. I wasn't quite sure what he had to brag about.

"Yep, she's smart as a tack." Lucy nodded.

"YOU GUYS ARE JUST BAKAS! EVERY SAILOR SHOULD KNOW ABOUT _SCURVY!_" And cue the demoness.

Suddenly Yosaku spit out the limes and sat up, suddenly looking much better.

"…Huh?" Nami blinked.

The bounty hunter duo did their 'hooray hooray' dance, which let me just say was one of the stupidest things I'd ever seen, and I've been seeing a lot of stupid lately, and claimed that Yosaku was all better.

"YOU CAN'T HEAL THAT QUICKLY!"

The two stopped dancing and stood straight. In unison, they said, "Allow us to introduce ourselves."

"My name's Johnny."

"And I'm Yosaku."

"**Together we're the baddest bounty hunting duo in the world!** **Zoro-aniki there used to be one of us.**"

"Glad to make your acquaintance," Yosaku finished.

Zoro smirked and walked forward. "Small world. Never thought I'd see you guys again."

"Well if you think _you're_ surprised…"

"…We never imagined that the great pirate hunter Zoro would become a pirate himself!"

"Tell me about it," the first mate muttered. He and Johnny clasped hands.

"Aniki."

Yosaku reached his hand out… and promptly collapsed.

"I TOLD YOU YOU COULDN'T HEAL THAT QUICKLY!"

* * *

Later that night, Yosaku had been placed in the boy's cabin while he got better, and we were all sitting around the table in the kitchen. Nami told us, "Let this be a lesson to you."

"Yeah, this is the kind of trouble you get yourself into when you choose a life on the sea," Zoro agreed.

Usopp piped up. "Which means when we're at sea, we've gotta learn how to get the right amount of nutrients with little food."

"It's absolutely necessary that someone on this ship knows how to do that."

Lucy took a bite of bread. "Necessary? Right! This ship needs a cook!"

We were all shocked that our idiot captain could come up with such a good idea.

"Hey, Usopp, Lucy _can_ say something smart!" I said in awe.

"I'm in!" he said. "That way we can have good food, even when we're at sea!

"That's right! You got it!" She stuck her tongue out.

"If you need a cook, I know just the place, and the food is gonna blow your minds!" Johnny spoke up.

"Whoa! Really? Do you mean that sea restaurant?"

"Yeah, the Baratie. How do you know about it?"

"I told them last night," I said.

Johnny shrugged. "Whatever. Consider yourself warned! This place is close to the Grand Line, and lately I've been hearing rumors that a certain _hawk-eyed man_ you're looking for is there." He directed the last part to his pal Zoro, who gripped his swords and looked up, his face a mixture of anticipation and anxiety. "Set a course, north-northeast!"

"Yosha!" Lucy cheered.

"Sugoi!" said Usopp.

"Shishishishishi!"

"Our destination is the Sea Restaurant, the Baratie!"

* * *

"So whaddya think?" Johnny smirked. It was two days later and we had finally arrived at our destination.

"WHOA! It's a huge fish!" said Lucy in awe.

"So lovely!" Nami agreed.

"This is the coolest place ever!" Usopp proclaimed.

"More like the weirdest place ever," I muttered. I mean, seriously. The place was one big _FISH_! It looked cool in the anime, but in real life... it was just freaky. I stared, wondering who had enough stupidity to actually build something like this. I was brought out of my slight horror, however, by the sound of warning bells.

"Ah! What the... a Marine ship?!" Long Nose worried. "All the way out here?"

Sure enough, a Marine ship was closing in on us from the right side. It was at least twice as big as the Going Merry, and it was painted blue. It's sails simply said, 'Marines'. Such great creativity, huh?

"Hey, Lucy-chan. They're not gonna start firing at us, are they?"

"Just my luck, of course the Marines would show up," Zoro grumbled.

"But... how did that ship..." Nami started.

Johnny snuck over to the boy's cabin. Its door was open and Yosaku was peeking out of it nervously. Johnny joined his brother and hid behind the door.

A man stepped forward and looked over the railing of the Marine ship. "I've never seen that mark before..." he mused. He was tall and lanky, his face tan. A scar ran across his cheek. He had little muscle but huge iron knuckles covering his hand. He wore a simple white-stripped suit over a blue shirt, and his hair was... his hair... IT WAS PINK! It was freakin' _pink_! Pink hair in real life is _ugly_. I shuttered involuntarily at the grotesqueness of his hair. I hoped I would never have to see that guy in my life again.

"I am Iron Fist Fullbody!" the Marine declared, slamming a hand on the side of his ship. "But you can just call me 'sir.' You there! Who's the captain? Identify yourself!"

"My name is Lucy!" shouted Lucy.

Usopp stepped up, too, but I hit the back of his head before he could say anything. "Don't start up, Usopp."

"We only made our flag the day before yesterday!"

"That's right, Marine, and I drew it!" Usopp bragged. A small tic mark appeared on both me and Lucy's heads.

Fullbody smirked. "Heh. You did? Is that so?" He must've noticed Johnny and Yosaku peeking from behind the door, because he said, "Hey, you two right there! I've seen you before. You're that bounty hunter duo that goes after the small fish. Right?"

"Yeah - well - we -" Johnny stuttered, shivering nervously.

"So, you've finally been caught by pirates."

"Well - actually, we -"

He chuckled. "Now that's a laugh."

"No, actually that's called a chuckle," I told him.

Zoro smirked.

A woman in a red dress with blonde hair tied up in a ponytail came out and grabbed his arm lightly. She must've been a major whore, because _nobody _I'd ever known would be willing to date a guy _that_ damned ugly.

"Hey, come on baby. Let's get going." she said.

"Sure."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Johnny called indignantly. He pulled a stack of wanted posters out of his coat pocket and threw them in the air. "You think small-time bounty hunters would go after _these guys_?"

One of them seemed to catch Nami's eye, and I could take a guess as to which one it was.

Fullbody and his girlfriend simply ignored Johnny and strolled off to the back of the ship. He told two Marine subordinates that I'd only just noticed, "They're an eyesore. Sink 'em."

"Sir!" they shouted with a salute.

Johnny and Yosaku started grumbling about being ignored and claimed that he'd better be ready the next time he saw them. Nami knelt next to the bounty posters and looked at one in particular that depicted a guy that looked even uglier than Fullbody, if that was possible. He had a long, jagged nose, blue skin, pointy teeth, and appeared to be a cross between a shark and a man.

It was the Fishman pirate, Arlong.

"Those are wanted pirates, Nami-aneki. In other words, if we defeat those guys, we get the reward money." Johnny explained.

"Pretty good business, huh, big sis?" Yosaku said smugly.

Nami crumpled Arlong's wanted poster, her body shaking. I looked at her sadly, knowing why she was so upset.

"Hey, you guys, look!" Usopp said suddenly. "They're pointing that cannon right at us!"

_BOOM!_

Lucy, who had been sitting on the railing, jumped to action. "You guys just leave it to me! Gomu-Gomu nooooo..." she gripped the mast and the figurehead's goat ear. The cannonball slammed into her slim body and she stretched far backward. She almost slammed into Zoro, but he moved out of the way at the last second. "SLINGSHOT!"

Suddenly the part of the ear that she'd grabbed onto broke off and she curved to the right. "Whoooooaaaaa! Not good!" _TWANG! _Her body retracted with the sound of a rubber band being flicked and Lucy slammed into the Merry's figure head. The cannonball went soaring in the complete wrong direction, crashing through the roof of the Baratie!

"Baka!" I sighed, face-palming.

Lucy cried anime tears.

* * *

"Dang, what's taking Lucy so long?" Usopp groaned.

"They'll probably make her work without pay for at least a month!" Nami said. "She should've just said it was the Marines' fault instead of being so freakin' honest."

Johnny and Yosaku were fixing the part of the railing of the upper deck that Johnny had broken in his short fight with Luffy. Nami and Usopp were looking at the Baratie in exasperation, probably wondering how they'd managed to hook up with such an idiot captain. Zoro was sleeping where Nami's mikan grove would soon be and I had pulled my iPod out of my suitcase, wondering if I could get on the internet in this world. If I could, it sure would be a surprise, but anything was possible in the world of One Piece.

And wouldn't you know it? I could!

_It's a good thing I didn't fall in the ocean_, I thought. _My suitcase isn't waterproof and my iPod would've gotten soaked! Still, I wonder how I'm still getting three bars even here in a world without computers, iPods, cell phones, or anything like that... Not that I'm complaining or anything._ I decided to just go with it.

The first thing I did was Google search Aeso, trying to find out anything I could about him. If he was a god, then most likely there was some sort of ancient story or something that involved him.

Myths with him in it = 0.

In fact, I couldn't get a single hit on him. It was like he was nonexistent, or at least he'd never appeared to humankind before. And what kind of demon is never seen by humans? It was strange, and I didn't like it. Not one bit.

Aeso had said the quest I've been given would be explained once I got to this world. Had it been explained yet? No, it hadn't.

He was really starting to tick me off. I mean, really! He ripped me away from my home, from everyone and everything I'd ever known, and then thrown me into the world of my favorite anime, which I had previously believed was fictional. Except he hadn't even managed to do _that _properly, and now I was stuck in an alternate universe of that world where Luffy is a freaking _GIRL!_ Not to mention that I still have no idea how to control those 'powers' he said I have, and that I have no idea what I'm supposed to actually be doing here.

If I ever saw him again, I was gonna kick his ass for doing this to me.

Johnny and Yosaku's idiot "Hooray Hooray!" dance brought me out of my angry musings. Apparently they had just finished fixing the railing, but it didn't matter to me one bit _why_ they were doing that dance.

"WOULD YOU STOP THAT?!" I bellowed, a tic mark pulsing on the back of my head.

They stopped that.

_"Someone's_ got anger issues," muttered Zoro.

"_Eh?_ Don't even get me started, Marimo!"

"Kuso-psychic!"

"Broken compass!"

"ONI GIRI!"

"HAWK PUNCH!"

"_NO FIGHTING!_"

-BAM! POW!-

"And she says she's weak," Usopp sighed.

Johnny and Yosaku brought up a rowboat from somewhere in the Going Merry and set it in the water. "Come on, minas! Let's go to the Baratie!"

"Yosha!" I cheered, my mood immediately brightening. I jumped into the rowboat. "I'm _starving_!"

"You've got mood swings like a girl," Zoro muttered.

"EH?!"

"It's gonna be a long day, isn't it?" Yosaku asked Usopp, who nodded in agreement.

* * *

When we got to the Baratie, we heard the sound of something being smashed and the tinkling of broken glass before we even set foot in the restaurant. We looked at the door in surprise. I shrugged and went to the door, easing it open. The first thing we noticed was that everybody in the joint was staring in horror at one particular table at the back. Er, if you could call it a table at all. At this point, all it really amounted to was a few legs and many splinters. Some sort of soup was spilled in the floor and the tablecloth was soaked with wine. The woman in the red dress from the Marine ship was standing a few feet to the right from it, hands over her mouth.

And in the center of the mess stood a blonde waiter clad in a clean black suit with black pants and black dress shoes, holding up that Marine dude, Fullbody, who looked like he'd just gotten his ass handed to him.

I had an inkling of a feeling on who that waiter was.

"Huh." said Zoro. "A fight."

"_Never_," the waiter growled, "waste food around me again! At sea, if you provoke your cook, you're signing your own death warrant!"

I smirked. Yep. It was definitely _that _guy.

"Oh, no the customer!" someone shouted. "Damn it, not again, Sanji! That's a customer! And can't you see he's a Marine lieutenant?" The newcomer was a big guy who wore a blue jacket over a pink shirt and had a goatee. His chin was pointy and his lips were rather large.

Sanji snorted. "You're a terrible cook. What makes you think you can talk to _me_ like that?"

"_You're_ calling _me_ bad? Restaurants can't exist without their customers. They're our lifeline, so we don't wanna hurt them the way _you_ seem to keep doing!"

"But he deserved it. He didn't treat the food or me with respect," Sanji growled._ "__And_ he insulted all the cooks!" The blonde's face was a mask of anger. He dropped the beaten Marine on the ground. "I just taught him a lesson, that's all."

"You're gonna regret this," Fullbody groaned. "All of you! No restaurant should treat its customers like this. I'll shut you down. Do you understand me?! I will shut down this entire place! This whole restaurant is finished! YOU HEAR ME!?"

"Then maybe I should just finish you off now," the cook mused.

The lieutenant gulped.

The cooks, who I'd only just noticed now were on a spiral staircase that led up to the second floor, ran forward and held Sanji back, grunting with the great effort.

"IT'S FOOLS LIKE YOU WHO THINK THEY'RE SUCH BIG SHOTS THEY CAN ORDER ANYBODY AROUND THAT REALLY PISS ME OFF!" He shouted over the other cooks, who were all telling him to calm down and let it go. "YOU'RE NOT SUCH A BIG SHOT _NOW_, ARE YA? _ARE YA!?"_

Suddenly, completely out of the blue, the ceiling broke and two people fell through it.

"What happened?" A customer asked.

"Are they okay?" someone else wondered.

"I can take a guess as to who _that_ was," I muttered.

An old man with a peg leg, a really straight beard, and an incredibly long chef's hat sat up, rubbing his head. At his feet lay - you guessed it - none other than Lucy.

"I can breathe again," she gasped.

"Chef Zeff, what's happening?" one of the cooks questioned. "You didn't hurt yourself, did you?"

"Dammit," said the tall-hatted man, Chef Zeff. He looked up in exasperation. "My ceiling! Now that old thing is gonna have to be fixed because of _you_, too! This is all _your_ fault, you damn brat!"

"It wasn't my fault!" Lucy yelled. "_You _attacked _me!_"

Suddenly they both noticed the chefs who had crowded around Sanji and who were struggling to hold him back.

"Sanji!" Zeff sighed. "Don't tell me you went on another rampage in here, you idiot!" He stood up and started walking over to his subordinate.

"Put a cork in it, jiisan!" our future crew member complained.

"Oh, now you're ordering _me_ around! Just who do you think you're talking to? You wanna sink my restaurant to the bottom of the sea? You punk!"

_BAM! _Zeff slammed his peg leg into Sanji face. Hard.

Fullbody, still on the ground, smirked, clearly pleased to see the cook getting beat up.

"And you there! Get your ass outta my restaurant!"

_WHAM!_

"How can you deny our motto that the customer is king?!" Patty growled.

"The only kingly customers we have are the ones who stomach the crap that _you_ call 'food.'" Sanji told him.

Burn.

Zeff reprimanded both of them for fighting, saying that if they wanted to, they should do so in the kitchen. Suddenly someone shouted, "Lieutenant! Lieutenant Fullbody! The prisoner from Don Krieg's crew that we were keeping on the ship has escaped and killed seven of our men already!"

"Wow, that's restaurant's crazy," said Lucy.

"Impossible!" growled Fullbody. "When we picked him up three days ago, he was on the verge of starvation! And we haven't even fed him anything! Where did he get his strength from?"

"Oh, no! Pirates!" A customer gulped.

"And the Krieg Pirates are supposed to be the strongest on the East Blue!"

The Marine said something else, but I couldn't understand him because suddenly... _CRACK!_ A bullet hole opened in his body and he fell to the ground, the floor covering with blood. Standing behind him and holding a pistol was a man who was so thin, he looked like death itself. It reminded me of the time on the streets when _I _had nearly starved to death.

"Looks like things are about to get very interesting," I muttered.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

**And chapter 3 is complete! Wow, three chapters in one day... I'm really on a roll! And not to mention I'm working on the original arc, Swap Island Insanity, during school. I'm on a creativity high today! Seriously, two chapters in one day has to be some kind of world record for me or something.  
**

Damon: Probably didn't help that you ate like twenty lollipops...

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Lucy: Did someone mention food?

Nami: We're about to eat anyway, so can it, waiter girl.

Lucy: Well, I'm not gonna eat! I have to work!

Damon: You've got a point there... for once.

Lucy: Oi.

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	4. Chapter 4: The Unexpected Customer!

**The fourth chapter of OP Full Blast: East Blue Bash has arrived!**

Damon: Oh, really? I thought it was the last chapter of _Lord of the Rings_.

...That was a totally random book to choose.

Damon: No, it's not. Tolkien is an awesome author. Unlike you.

Oi...

**Chapter start!**

* * *

The Unexpected Customer!

What the Hell are You Wearing, Lucy?!

* * *

**Previously...**

_The Marine said something else, but I couldn't understand him because suddenly... CRACK! A bullet hole opened in his body and he fell to the ground, the floor covering with blood. Standing behind him and holding a pistol was a man who was so thin, he looked like death itself. It reminded me of the time on the streets when I had nearly starved to death._

_"Looks like things are about to get very interesting," I muttered._

A waiter dressed in a simple chef's outfit came over to us and escorted us to a table by the spiral staircase. "Gomen," he said. "We don't mean to cause trouble for you."

"It's fine," I shrugged. "I've been in the middle of craziness worse than this before. In my opinion, this is just a good show."

"That guy is from Don Kreig's ship," I heard a cook say.

"A pirate, huh?" Lucy grinned.

The man with the pistol stumbled over to an empty table. He wore a white jacket with a red dragon embroidered on either side and a forest green shirt underneath that. His pants matched his jacket. A headband outlined his crown, and he was so thin you probably could've seen his bones if he'd take off his shirt.

I shook with anger. Having almost starved to death myself out on the streets of New York City last summer, I knew exactly what the man was feeling. I gritted my teeth, my face probably red with my rage. I wanted to kick that bastard Marine's ass for making that pirate go through all that. I mean sure he's a pirate, most of whom kill innocent people for the hell of it, but in my opinion, _no one_ deserved starvation. It was just too cruel. You simply don't know what it's like to go for long without food until you've experienced it yourself.

"Another customer has arrived." Patty said, raising an eyebrow.

"He'd better not cause any trouble in my restaurant," said Zeff dangerously.

The pirate put a foot up on his table and hissed, "I don't care what dish you bring, just get me some food." He was bleeding out of a cut above his eye. "This _is_ a restaurant, isn't it?"

"No, it's a spa," I said quietly but sarcastically, earning me a hit from Nami.

"Welcome, you damn crook!" greeted Patty with a stupid smile that made his already not-too-good-looking face look uglier.

"I'll only say it once more, so listen up. Bring me some food."

Lieutenant Fullbody decided to speak up. "He's gonna kill that cook..."

"I'm sorry, Sir, but we'll be expecting you to pay for your meal here," Patty told him. "Do you have any money?"

The starving man cocked the hammer of a pistol and pointed it at Patty's forehead, murmuring, "Is a bullet enough?"

"So I take it that you don't have any money."

_CRASH!_ Patty slammed his fists down and smashed the chair that the pirate had been sitting in just moments before, having just jumped out of the way in the nick of time. And _he _was reprimanding _Sanji_ for beating up customers...

Head Chef Zeff was not impressed. "Why, that Patty bastard broke one of my chairs!"

"Wow, what power!" said Lucy, eyes wide.

Sanji smoked his cigar distastefully.

"If you can't pay up, you can't eat!" Patty sneered at the pirate, who was laying on the ground and clutching his stomach, a pained look on his face. Customers and cooks alike cheered him on, while I growled in anger. "Oh, your stomach's growling there, you filthy pirate!"

"That was a fart." said the pirate.

I busted out laughing, attracting weird looks at our table from the rest of the crowd. Hey, the dude was funny!

"You jerk, just hurry and get me something to eat," he continued.

"YOU'RE NO CUSTOMER, SO GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!"

Sanji walked off to the kitchen, and I smiled. I'd never liked Sanji too much because he was a perverted bastard who only cared about women, women, and women, but maybe he wasn't so bad in real life. Who knew?

Patty started beating up the starved man, and finally I'd had enough.

"Oi! Jerk-Chef!" I called. Everyone in the vicinity looked at me, wondering what I could possibly be angry about. I continued. "That man is starving. Don't you have any humanity at all? Even if he is a pirate, so what? I'd say a good half, or at least a thrid of this world's population are pirates. JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE, DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN TREAT 'EM LIKE DIRT!"

Fullbody, who'd been crawling away, looked at me, and a glimmer of recognition sparked in his eye. Maybe he remembered me from the cannonball incident? Anyway, when he recognized me, he immediately crawled away even faster. I mentally smirked.

"What are you going on about?" Patty growled at me.

"No one, whether they be citizen, pirate, or Marine, deserves to starve." I said, narrowing my eyes and standing up from the table, while avoiding looking at Nami, who was trying to get me to shut up with a panicked look. "Starvation is a horror that nobody, no matter what their crime may be, should suffer."

Zeff raised an eyebrow. I could tell he probably had inferred by now that I knew this from experience.

"I don't understand," said the chef, crossing his arms and still rubbing his foot in the pirate's face.

"Then I'll make you," I hissed, and I walked over to him, everybody watching me.

"Oi, Damon-san, stop!" I heard Usopp cry.

POW! With one clean punch, I sent the big guy flying into the wall, where he slammed to a halt and slid down, his nose trickling blood. Patty's eyes had rolled back in his head. He was clearly unconscious.

The Baratie was so silent you could here a pin drop.

Then Lucy fell over laughing. I cracked a smirk. I turned to the customers, still stunned silent, and smiled, my angry expression now gone. "Alright everyone, please return to your meal!"

I picked up the pirate and carried him over my shoulder outside. Damn, was he heavy... I set him down gently on the deck and sat next to him, leaving the Straw Hats to wonder what the hell I was doing. The sound of the waves rolling in the background calmed me. The pirate rolled over into a kneeling position and hissed, "Damn that chef..." Then he looked at me, confusion in his eyes. "Why did you save me?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but didn't get a chance to because Lucy appeared on the floor above us and said, "Ne, you're starving, aren't you?"

"Sh-Shut up. I'm n-not the least bit hungry..."

"You sure look and sound like it to me," I said.

His stomach growled, proving my point.

The door opened again to reveal Sanji with a plate of food that looked very... Japanese, including rice and seafood, as well as a glass of water to wash it down with. He set it down in front of the weak man and sat next to me on the railing, smoking another cigar.

"Eat it."

The pirate looked at the plate of food, eyes wide with desire. He gulped hungrily, but said, "Shut up! Go away! This is even worse. I won't accept charity." He looked to the side. "Take it away!"

"It's not charity," I said, shaking my head.

"Yeah. Don't be so tough, just it eat already." Sanji agreed. "To me, any hungry person's a customer."

"I... I can't pay for it."

-GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GROWL-

"The vast ocean can be very creul," Sanji began. "It's awful not to have any food or water. Just awful... I understand starving people more than just about anyone. I don't care if you wanna die with pride." He gave the pirate a small smile. "But if you eat up now, you'd be able to look forward to a new tomorrow as well as pride truly worth having, won't you?"

My smile grew wider. Sanji was pretty cool, actually.

The starved man's eyes went wide with awe, and then as if a switch had been flipped, grabbed the plate of food and started stuffing his face with it, literally crying in joy. "Delicious! It's so delicious! I thought I was gonna die! I thought I was a goner." He shoveled the rice-seafood dish into his mouth.

"When you haven't had a thing to eat in weeks, or even days, your next meal tastes like happiness on a plate, doesn't it?" I said. "Me and Sanji here, we know what it's like to starve."

The chef looked at me in surprise. "How'd you..."

"I'm a psychic," I cut him off.

"Eh?!"

"Yummy, so delicious!" the pirate cried happily. "I've never had such a good meal in my whole life."

"Well, Sanji _is_ the best cook on the seas," I shrugged. Sanji again looked startled, though this time it was probably because he thought Zeff was the best cook. Then he looked back at our friend and grinned.

"You like it, eh?"

Above us, Lucy giggled. "Well, now I've found my cook!" And thus the Will of D enters into play. "Hey, aren't you lucky? If he hadn't given you something to eat, shishishi, it'd be all over for you by now! Ne, Mr. Cook, care to join us? You'll be the cook on our pirate ship!"

I raised an eyebrow and looked up at her. "...Why, exactly, are you laughing?"

Sanji's eyes turned to hearts the moment he spotted Lucy... and all the respect I'd just built up for Sanji flew out the window.

"AH, MELLORINE!" He said, kneeling with one hand on his knee. "If I could go anywhere I wanted with you, I would, but alas I cannot! I'm afraid I can't leave this restaurant, this cursed Baratie that is the wall between our love!"

A tic mark pulsed on the back of my head and I stood up and glared at the cook. "OI! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, YOU ERO-COOK!"

* * *

COMMERCIAL BREAK OF... COMMERCIALNESS!

Robin: That isn't a word, Author-san.

Ah, but it is! I made it up in the awesome Dictionary of Me! And where the hell did you come from?! You don't show up until Whiskey Peak!

Lucy: Whoa, a time traveller! SUGOOOOI!

* * *

"So, you two're kaizokou?" the pirate said. Lucy had jumped down to the deck and sat on the other side of the railing beside me.

"Hai!" she said happily.

"Then why'd you attack the resaurant?" Sanji wondered in confusion, now out of ero-cook mode since I hit him upside the head for it.

"Ah, that was accident!"

"My captain was defending the ship and her hand slipped, causing her to fling the Marine's ball at the Baratie instead of back at them," I explained to them, although it looked like they weren't quite following.

"The hell does that mean?" Sanji grumbled. "Anyways, you'd better not do anything else to this place. the head chef here was once a chef on a notorious pirate ship."

"Seeing as how Lucy-chan's Chore Girl? You'd better get used to mass chaos," I told him.

"Ne? So that old man was a kaizokou?" said Lucy, completely ignoring me and looking off into the horizon, as though imagining Zeff kicking the Grand Line's ass. I have to admit, it was a funny vision, imagining that.

"For that jiichan, this restaurant is worth more than any treasure to me, and I'd even give up sailing with a lady as beautiful as yourself," the ero-cook said to Lucy. Another tic mark pulsed on the back of my head.

"Oi, lay off it," I warned.

"And those cooks who came after his fame were once fierce kaizokou. Well, the kaizokou in these parts often come to this place."

"Yeah, this place never seems to lack a dull moment!" the straw-hatted captain laughed happily.

"It's a pretty fun place," I agreed, "if you ignore the jerkish personalities of some of the other chefs."

"Pheh. It's not that bad. I'm used to it." muttered Sanji. "Recently, most of the people only come to watch the cooks and kaizokou brawl it out. But thanks to that, it scares away all of the part-time waiters."

"Oh, that explains it." Lucy grinned, obviously happy that her small bran managed to figure something out. "No wonder he wants me to work here for a whole year."

I choked. I'd known it already from watching the anime, but hearing it in real life was something else. "A... A whole _year_?" I said, my jaw dropping. "That's overkill..."

"Ne, join us!" Lucy asked Sanji.

Sanji frowned. "As much as I'd love to, I already told you, I can't. I refuse. I have my reasons why I must remain here."

I snorted. "You think that because the jiisan saved your life, that means you have to stay here helping him out and you can't follow your dreams, huh? What a stupid reason. He saved you so you_ could _follow your dreams, you know."

The chef was so surprised he dropped his cigarette. "Whu... How'd you...?"

"Told you, I'm a psychic," I said.

Lucy stretched her neck and looked at him face-to-face, though upside down. "NO! I refuse!"

Sanji blinked and blushed because their faces were so close. "...Eh? Refuse what?"

"I refuse your refusal! You're a good cook, so come be a kaizokou with me!"

I shook my head and facepalmed. Lucy logic.

Sanji turned and glared at her. Whoa... Sanji glaring at a girl! _That's _one for the history books. "Hey now, you listen to me!"

"So what's this reason of yours?"

"I already said it, Lucy-chan," I sighed. "You were ignoring me as usual."

"I don't need to tell you."

Lucy pouted in confusion. "Eh? Didn't you say you wanted me to listen to you?" I have to admit, the two things he'd said didn't coincide very wel together...

A small tic mark pulsed on Sanji's forehead. "I meant that you must accept my decision!"

"EH? WHAT'D YOU SAY!?" My captain fumed.

"Yara yara," I sighed.

"Sorry to interrupt, but..." the pirate Sanji had saved interrupted.

**"NANDA?!"**

"I'm part of the Krieg Kaizokou. The name's Ghin. So, you're kaizokou too, eh?" Said the pirate, Ghin. "What's your goal."

Lucy smiled. "I'm looking for One Piece! I'm gonna be Queen of the Pirates! I'm headed for the Grand Line."

Ghin stared. "You're still looking for a cook... Your crew must be quite small."

"Yeah. We've got six, counting him."

**"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU COUNTING ME IN?" **Sanji and I shouted in unsion.

"You look like a decent people, so let me give you a piece of advice," the previously-starving man said. "You'd better not go to the Grand Line. You're still young. There's no need to rush. The Grand Line is only a small part of the world's vast oceans. If you wanna be a pirate, there are many less intimidating places."

"A, so desu ka," Lucy grinned. So do you know anything about the Grand Line, Ghin?"

I smirked. "As if intimidation would stop Lucy."

Ghin shook his head and rubbed his face. "No. I don't know anything about it... Nothing, nothing at all! That's why it's so scary!"

Sanji looked at him dubiously. "Are you really one of the dreaded Krieg's men? I didn't think he'd take such chickens."

"Yup." I said.

"Krieg?" asked Lucy in confusion.

I got up from the railing, leaving Lucy, Sanji, and Ghin to their conversation. "Well, I'm hungry. I'm getting something to eat."

They all ignored me.

Whatever.

When I got back with the other Straw Hats, Nami glared at me and bopped me on the head a couple of times, glaring at me and looking more like a shark than a human. She chewed me out for attacking the chef while Usopp sank lower in his seat, hoping the navigator wouldn't suddenly decide to turn her anger on him for some reason.

After Nami's anger faded, she looked at me sadly. "From what you said it sounded like you were speaking from experience."

"I was," I said grimly, nursing the new bumps on my head. "A few weeks after the start of my life on the streets, I ran out of money and began starving. It's... truly the worst experience ever. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."

Things were pretty melancholic after that until a chef/waiter came and took our orders.

"You've got stuffed peppers with sea king meat?" I said, raising an eyebrow while looking at the menu. "Huh. Guess I'll take that, then." Two years ago, stuffed peppers had been my favorite meal, and I was interested to see what sea king meat tasted like, so while I was in this world, I might as well go with the flow.

A short while after our food came, and let me just say that sea king meat is 100 times better than any other meat I've ever had, Nami spotted Lucy on the spiral staircase above us.

"Hey, waiter girl!" she chortled.

Lucy stopped walking, blinked, and glared at us. "Oi! It's you guys!"

I had been taking a swig of lemonade, easily the best drink in the world, and spat out the drink in my mouth all over Zoro, who had the misfortune of being sat directly opposite me. He glared at me and said something, but I was so shocked I didn't hear what he said. Because Lucy... Lucy...

Oh, gods, Lucy, why?!

She had on a French maid uniform that had a button down, revealing some of her cleavage. It was... really hot. And I don't mean the weather. I felt my face heat up a little and unless it was my imagination, Zoro's did too.

"I heard you had to work for a whole year!" Nami continued. "But, man is that dress kawaii!"

"Can I redraw our pirate flag?" Zoro smirked.

I shook myself out of my perverted stupor, leaned back in my chair, and took another swig of my lemonade. "I wonder how many people you'll have to serve, ne?" And I don't mean _that _kind of service, people! Minds out of the gutter, honestly!

"W-w-w-what's this?!" our captain gasped in disbelief. "You all stuff yourselves with such great food while I'm not around?! THAT HURTS!"

"Not really, it's our free will," Zoro chuckled.

She stuck a finger up her nose, dug out a booger, and flicked it into his water. "Take that."

I only barely held back my laughter, as did Usopp and Nami. I think I cracked a couple ribs...

"But I've gotta admit, the food here's great," the swordsman smirked, reaching for his glass and slowly bringing it to his lips. My lungs were threatening to burst with the effort of not laughing. "I feel kinda sorry for ya..." Suddenly he grabbed Lucy by the neck and forced her to drink the water, a tic mark pulsing on the back of his head. "YOU DRINK IT!"

This was simply too much for the three of us. Laughter exploded from us, and Nami was laughing so hard she was even slapping the table. I was literally crying with mirth. Lucy rolled around on the floor.

"YOU, TOO! WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO PULL?" Zoro roared.

"My stomach's aching!" Lucy exclaimed.

A few of the other customers near us stared at our table, some of them giving us weird looks and others smiling with us.

"Oh, mother ocean!" a familiar voice said. I immediately stopped laughing and a tic mark pulsed on the back of my head, even bigger than Zoro's. "Thank you for arranging this encounter today!" It was Sanji, kneeling down next to Nami, who stopped laughing and leaned away with a startled 'Eh?!,' and producing a rose from who-knows-where. "Oh, my love!" He put his hand into his face and shook it as though in resignation. "Go on, laugh at me. I, who can't bear torture. As long as I'm with you and your beautiful captain, it matters not if I'm kaizokou or a devil... MY HEART'S READY AS CAN BE!" He looked up with a perverted grin, his eyes, or rather _eye_ since his left one was hidden behind his hair, now heart-shaped.

I burst out laughing again. Well, he _did_ say we could laugh at him... Lucy looked like she didn't know what to think, and Zoro standing next to her had his eyes shadowed by his hair.

"But this is horrible! There's such a great obstacle between us!"

"The obstacle is me, right?" growled Zeff, who stepped up to us, his peg leg tapping against the floor. "Sanji."

The chef's eye immediately went back to normal. "The damn jiisan," he grumbled.

"This is just great," said Zeff. Man was his chef's hat long... "Why don't you just run off and be a kaizokou just like them? We don't need you here anymore!"

Sanji glared at him.

Ouch. That was rough.

**TO BE CONTINUED.**

* * *

**And thus ends the fourth chapter of the rising star of fanfictions, OP: Full Blast! Yosha! Let's do this, minnas!**

Damon: What a terrible ending. There should at least be a punch line or something...

*Punches Damon*

Zoro: That works.

Johnny and Yosaku: Don't forget to review, follow, and favorite! If you want...

Coby: *cries* WAAAH! I'm not in the story yet!

Damon: GAH! PINK HAIR!

**-TheRealEvanSG**


	5. Chapter 5: The Greatest Crew Ever!

**Another chapter of the epic saga of the life of my OC, Damon D. Digger! There is finally gonna be a description of him in this chapter! PAAAARRTTYYYY!**

Damon: Sheesh. What kind of shit-author doesn't include a description of the main character until the freakin' FIFTH CHAPTER?!

Heheheheh... Ah... Yeah... About that little issue...

**CHAPTER START!**

Damon: *voice fades into the background* Oi! You still haven't answered my ques-

* * *

The Greatest Pirate Fleet Ever?!

Screw Reputation! Whitebeard's Stronger than Don Krieg!

* * *

**Previously on OP: Full Blast - East Blue Bash.**

_"This is just great," said Zeff. Man was his chef's hat long... "Why don't you just run off and be a kaizokou just like them? We don't need you here anymore!"_

_Sanji glared at him._

_Ouch. That was rough._

"The other cooks don't like you anyway," the head chef continued. "Why don't you just become a kaizokou or whatever you please? Why don't you just get the hell outta here!?"

Lucy blinked. Zoro raised an eyebrow. I sighed and went back to meal, drowning out the rest of my conversation. I didn't like listening in when friends were insulting each other until Sanji was thrown into the table, before which I only just managed to get my food out of the way of being smashed, along with everyone else. In my opinion, as long as my name didn't come up in their argument, it's their problem, not mine, and I won't fight unnecessary battles.

Still though, my stuffed peppers didn't taste quite as good as they had before.

Zeff walked off saying, "I'll live another 100 years!" and Lucy, that moron, chose this moment to get a few words in of her own.

"Isn't it great that he gave you his blessing!" she exclaimed, leaning over to pat him on the back. Sanji looked like he couldn't decide whether to go into ero-cook mode or to kick her in the face, which I wouldn't blame him for doing.

"Lucy!" I snapped. "Is that really all you can gleam from that argument?"

She totally ignored me, but then again, was I really expecting anything else? "Now you can come with us -"

"HELL NO!"

I heard one of the cooks mutter, "Whoa. Sanji said 'no' to and cursed at a girl? This has to be a world record or something."

I nodded in silent agreement.

Then Sanji immediately went into ero-cook mode after fixing our table, and gave Nami a Fruit Macedonia and a new glass of wine. Although my eye twitched ("Spaz," I heard Zoro mutter, earning him a sharp look), I didn't do much than glare lightly at him. For some reason, Sanji kissing up to Nami didn't affect me as much as him kissing up to Lucy. I didn't even get a tic mark.

Nami thanked him and a greedy sneer spread across her face while Usopp sprung up demanding Sanji apologize to us. I rolled my eyes.

"You want a fight?" Usopp grunted. "I won't go easy on you. Get him, Zoro, Damon!"

I sweatdropped. "If you want to fight, do it yourself," I told him. The swordsman agreed.

Nami pouted. "Please don't fight over me."

"Very well, madam, I'll stop."

"WHO'D WANT TO FIGHT OVER YOU?!"

I pointed at Sanji, my face blank. Zoro snickered.

Nami started playing with the ero-cook's easily-swayed heart to get free food while I just shook my head and tried to concentrate on my food. Lucy watched the whole thing, stomach growling the entire time.

"Give me food, Damon!" she begged, looking at me and turning on puppy dog eyes.

Damn... those were some _cute_ puppy dog eyes. I felt my resistance weaken and I sighed. "Alright. You can have _one_ of the remaining peppers on my plate."

"YAY!" she cheered, scooping up the biggest stuffed pepper and downing it in one giant gulp. "More!"

"N-N-No," I grunted, somehow managing to tear my eyes away from hers.

"Come on!"

"I said only one."

"Oi, waiter girl! Why are you slacking off? Back to work!" a random cook said.

"Oh. Okay..." She looked so disappointed I almost gave her another pepper, but I managed to stop myself before I broke. And so our captain was dragged off while Nami, Usopp, Zoro and I all sweatdropped. Sanji left our table soon after.

* * *

Three days passed, three days to get closer to each of the Straw Hats. Zoro and I got in more mini battles, Nami breaking them up before they escalated. I practiced my self-defence and tried to discover what my powers where. I mean, if I was a demigod, I had to have control over some type of aspect of human life, right? And since Aeso had said he was the god of the ocean, it only made sense that my powers were water-related. I had pretty much accepted this was real by now. I'd never had a dream so realistic in my life.

On the second day we were at the Baratie, I managed to cause a wave the size of the restaurant that rolled, out of control, out to sea. Luckily it went in the direction of the Calm Belt, so I wasn't too worried about it crashing into islands and causing a mass panic. By the fourth day, I was able to control the waves I created, though it took a _lot_ of effort and left me physically exhausted by the time I was done. The crew asked me if I'd eaten some sort of Devil Fruit, and to keep things simple until I learned more about why I was here, I said I ate the Mizu-Mizu no Mi, otherwise known as the Water-Water Fruit.

When I wasn't practicing self-defense or learning how to control my powers, I was fooling around on my iPod or just trying to get some rest before the big battle I knew was coming. My reflection on my iPod showed me the same Damon that I'd been before I'd entered this world; a slightly nervous Damon with maybe a little more muscle than I'd had before, but the same me nonetheless. I had on a purplish/black PacMan shirt under a cool leather jacket which Cracked-Up Kane had stolen for me against my wishes. I'd almost returned it to the store, but it was so awesome on me that I'd decided I'd keep it, just this once. I also had on a dark blue pair of jeans, the same ones I'd been wearing on my mother's death day. I hadn't grown more than an inch since then (I'd hit puberty pretty early) but I was still really tall, a good 6'4". My hair was brown and windswept from the sea breeze. My eyes were a handsome hazel. My single black belt was caked in seasalt from the waves I'd practiced making, and smelled bad like the ocean, though I was getting used to the smell by now.

At the one week mark, a heavy fog rolled in. I had been watching the Baratie Arc as well as the other future East Blue Arcs secretely up in the crow's nest so that the crew wouldn't hear me doing it, and so I knew that today was the day that Don Krieg would show up trying to take the restaurant, whose food we'd been gorging ourselves on for the past week.

"Man, it's already been seven days," Usopp complained. "I'm getting fed up with this place. How soon can we leave, do you think?"

"Technically you're not getting fed up with the restaurant, you're getting fed up with the restaurant's _food_," I told him seriously.

"Smart ass."

"Beats me." Zoro shrugged, totally ignoring me. Did anyone pay attention to me? At all?

"You don't think he'll really be stuck here for a whole year, do you?" the liar grumbled.

"Knowing Lucy, she's probably wrecking the place, and they'll let her out early to save themselves the extra repair cost," I chuckled. We were all leaning against the side of the _Merry_'s upper deck railing, the fog so thick it looked like pea soup.

"Too true," said Nami with a sigh. "I'll miss all this free food."

"IT'S ONLY FREE FOR YOU!" Usopp shrieked. He tilted his head and must've seen our captain off the side of the ship, because he called out, "Oi, Lucy! What's up with you? Hurry and get out of this mess!"

"Ah, can't you guys wait just a bit longer? I'll try talking to the boss again," replied Lucy.

"Please do!"

There was a slight pause broken only by the lapping of the waves against the side of the _Going Merry_. Then the shadow of a huge ship sailed steadily toward us like a ghost. My shackles stood up on end and I shivered. The anime hadn't done the creepiness of the situation justice.

As the ship grew closer, we all watched it. And man... up close it was even _bigger_. It had to be at least six times the size of our own little caravel. It's mast head was akin to a sea monster, or maybe a weird purple lion, and it's pirate mark was... strange. But the creepy thing wasn't the sheer size of the ship, or it's figurehead, or even the grinning Jolly Roger flying on the mainmast. No, the creepy thing was how utterly _decimated_ it looked.

"It looks like it was put through a giant meat grinder," I said in horrified awe. "How is it even still sailing?"

"Hey, we gotta get outta here!" Usopp freaked.

"That ship's _huge_!" Nami said in shock. Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.

The fog cleared away, revealing just how messed up the ship really was. The sails were torn nearly in half, and one of the masts was leaning to the side. Giant, gaping holes were ripped in the hull of the ship.

"We can't go without Lucy," I told Usopp, "and I doubt she'd want to miss the excitement anyway."

A huge man shrowded in his ship's shadow stepped off it and walked into the Baratie, leaning against a struggling Ghin.

"Oi, minnas, let's go in the back way," Zoro suggested.

"Yeah, sounds good to me, Marimo." I nodded. The tenseness in the air was so great that the unofficial first mate of the Straw Hats didn't even shoot me a glare.

"I think I have, If-I-go-to-the-restaurant-I'll-die disease!" Usopp cried. "It's a serious dilemma!"

"Fine, stay here, but don't blame me if Krieg's men raid our ship," I shrugged. The liar squeaked in terror and ran over to hide behind me. "Oi..."

"I'll protect the ship," Nami offered. "I'm good with a bo staff."

I bent my head in resignation, knowing she'd sail off without us. "Alright, but I need to get something out of the crow's nest first." I quickly scaled the steep mast, almost slipping but managing to regain my balance, and slipped my iPod into my pocket, then jumped out of the lookout post and into the sea, willing myself to stay dry so my iPod wouldn't get fried. I'd learned I could do this the day before.

_SPLOSH_ I sank into the water, hung for a second, then blasted myself onto the Baratie.

We all came in just in time to see Sanji getting punched out by none other than Don Krieg himself, wearing a plum cape with a big fur collar. His head was bandaged, his hair was lavender, and his eyes were hard and confident. His shoulders were broad and his whole body was heavily muscled.

"S-Sanji!" a cook I'd learned a couple days ago was named Carne (Italian for "meat" - coincidences, eh?) gasped. A woman screamed in terror and thr crowd of customers that had been watching backed away quickly.

Ghin was kneeling on the floor next to Krieg, and pleaded, "Oi! Aren't you acting different from what you promised, Don Krieg? You promised that you'd never hurt these people, so I took you here. Besides, that was the man who saved our lives!"

His captain suddenly grabbed by the shoulder and fored him to his feet. "Yeah, it was good," Krieg said. He squeezed on Ghin's shoulder harder and I heard it snap. Ghin howled in pain. "I feel re-energized." He dropped Ghin on the ground and left him clutching his broken shoulder, while I gritted my teeth, wondering how any man with even a sliver of pride in him could torture one of his friends - no, his _nakama_ like that.

Krieg sneered and examined the joint. "Oi, isn't this a nice restaurant?" he said. "I'll take it."

Sanji struggled to sit up.

"My ship's ruined. I'm taking this one in exchange. Leave after you've all gotten your things, last warning."

"N-Nani?!" Carne growled.

"He's scary," Usopp cried quietly, still hiding behind me.

"D-Don..." Ghin grunted. "That's not what you promised."

Krieg pointed his thumb behind him. "There's about a 100 men still alive on that ship. All of 'em are starving and injured. First, prepare food and water for them all. Some of them... have already starved to death. Do it right away!"

"We know that those pirates are gonna turn right back around and attack us!" Carned said. "We won't aid them!"

_What a bastard_, I thought angrily. _Even though that's exactly what Krieg's men will end up doing, they still don't deserve to starve!_

"You refuse?" Krieg growled "Don't misunderstand. I'm not ordering food. I'm giving you an order. Nobody ever disobeys me!"

"There's a first time for everything," I muttered.

The so-called King of the East Blue blew steam out of his mouth and the chefs backed up a few steps in fear.

Ghin rasped something, but it was so quiet I couldn't hear him. Sanji tilted his head to the side.

"BASTARD!" Patty yelled at the ero-cook. "LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

"You're the one who beat up Ghin," I said to myself.

Sanji somehow managed to stand up, even though the blow he'd taken looked like it was super-powerful. He put his hands in his pockets and went to the spiral staircase, which was filled with other chefs. "Oi, Sanji, where do you think you're going?" One of them asked.

He paused, then wiped a trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. "The kitchen," came his simple answer. "I've gotta prepare enough food for 100 men."

I smiled. Once again, Sanji's kindness was awesome. My respect for him went up a few notches. The cooks, on the other hand, lookde like they couldn't believer their ears, and Ghin was even more shocked.

"Sanji-san!" the injured pirate hissed in awe.

"Sanji!" grinned Lucy.

"NANI?!" The chefs shouted collectively.

"Hai." The leader of the famed pirate fleet smirked. "That's how it should be."

Suddenly, Mr. Ero-Cook was surrounded by a multitude of sharp objects and pans on long handles. I blinked. Where had the cooks pulled those weapons from? I hadn't even seen them move. Huh. Weird.

The chefs called him Krieg's little puppet and said they'd never let him in the kitchen again, as well as a lot of other insulting things. I tried not to growl in anger.

Sanji held out his hands. "Go ahead. If you wanna stop me, do so."

The cooks looked at each other in confusion.

"I'm aware. I know that he's a helpless bully... but that's none of my business. I don't care. I don't care what happens after they had their meal." Sanji looked down contentedly. "Not a care in the world. I'm a chef. Nothing more. When people are hungry, I offer them food. That's all there is to it." He looked back up and eyed his fellow cooks. "For a chef, isn't that enough?"

The chefs stepped away, but then -

_WHAM!_ Sanji was once again punched out, only this time by Patty, who said, "Oi! Take him outta here!"

I stepped forward angirly, but Zoro held me back. "Let them duke it out," he sighed.

I glared, but did as he said.

"Sanji, you've often given food to those that I've thrown out, haven't you?" Patty grumbled. "I don't care who's right or wrong at the moment, but I can't let you do as you please anymore. _I'll _protect this restaurant." With those words, he strolled over to the large column that the staircase spiraled around, pulled on a piece of board I hadn't noticed before, and dug around in a cubby hole. "Luckily there's only one man today. What can a lone Don Krieg do against us? Pirates come to this restaurant all the time... I'm always prepared for anything."

"That's -" Sanji gasped.

Patty turned his head, smirked, and said the stupidest joke ever. "Did you enjoy your meal, Krieg-san? 'CAUSE HERE'S YOUR DESSERT!"

And he pulled out... a giant, red, crayfish-shaped bazooka.

I stared. Well... that was anti-climactic.

"SYRUP MEATBALL!" Patty shouted, cocking the bazooka. BOOM! It exploded, releasing a giant flash of light that nearly blinded me, but when my vision cleared, all I could see was an enormous dust cloud. I heard Lucy shout in surprise on the steps.

"Don!" Ghin shouted in the dust cloud.

"Heh... Zeff'll be mad at me for blasting the door off," Patty admitted, "but it'll be worth it. We're protecting this place, after all."

"What about the men on Krieg's ship?" Sanji grunted.

"How about we butter it up and cook it?" Again with the lame chef jokes...

It took a good five minutes for it to clear, but when it did... Krieg was still standing. And he looked unhurt. "That sounds delicious," he sneered. "Stupid cook."

The cooks shook in fear and shock.

"Giving me such an awful dessert... this restaurant's despicable!" There was the sound of the cocking of many guns, and when the last of the dast cleared, Krieg was shown wearing shiny gold-plated armor, which - take a guess - held an almost impossible number of high-powered, long-ranged weapons. "DESPICABLE!"

For some reason, a quick snapshot of Gru surrounded by his Minions flashed through my mind. Maybe I was ADHD? I'd have to check that out with Chopper when we reach Drum Kingdom, if I was still with the Straw Hats at that point.

For now, though, my jaw dropped at the sheer number of loaded guns being pointed _STRAIGHT. AT. US!_

"Dammit, not good!" I shouted.

_CRACK CRACK CRACK POW CRACK POW POW!_ The guns all unloaded at once and we pirates dived behind a table the fleeing customers had upturned, while the chefs hit the floor.

"That armor..." Lucy shouted in awe.

"It can shoot?!" Sanji gasped.

Krieg closed the plates of his armor, stopping the guns fom firing. He shrugged off his forest-green gloves to reveal a diamond-fisted hand. "Do as i say!" he commanded us. "I'm the strongest person alive!"

"Heh, you just haven't met Lucy yet," I said to myself.

* * *

**Chapter 5 end! I'm ending it a bit early 'cuz my parents are crabbing about my curfew.**

Damon: Whoa, talk about big guns.

Usopp: *crying anime tears* THAT WAS SO SCARY~!

Damon: Can you please stop hiding behind me, bro?

Lucy: Oi! Minnas! Review, favorite, and follow, please! AND GIVE ME FOOD ALREADY!

Straw Hats: *all sweatdrop* Oi, Captain, that wasn't part of the script...

**-TheRealEvanSG**


End file.
